Marissa Mayer, you can do better: working mommy chronicles

Marissa Mayer, Yahoo!'s Chief Exec, just announced she is pregnant with twins and will only take two weeks off work--at Christmas. This is great. But women and men have made great strides toward parental leave over the last 50 years so that working is possible for me and for a whole lot of other women.

Marissa, if you want to take two weeks off to have twins , that's fine. Just do it. You do not need to make it a statement. Doing so is a disservice to women and driving sexism from the glass ceiling. If you want to make a statement about how your sex does not affect your performance at work, why don't you turn Yahoo! around and make it a better company?

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Daddy on another business trip: working mommy chronicles

David is on vacation, I mean a business trip, but he finally gets back today!

This marks the end of the latest insaneathon. 3 days. 9 school drop offs at 3 different schools. 9 content-contested breakfasts. 9 lunches (contents also contested). 9 outfit negotiations (while getting ready for work myself). All by 8 am. I am the only adult in the house.

Amazingly, today was the only day Julian was late to school. He was very unhappy so I quickly drafted a note. Julian was, of course, curious to know what it read (my writing is very messy) so I read it to him.

"Dear Middle School, The reason Julian is late is because his father is in Munich. I have held it together all week but this morning has finally gone to s***t. Btw, I am also going to be late to pick him up by at least 20 minutes but I am already leaving work early so do not f***king call me this afternoon. Thank you, Paige."

The kids were stunned for a moment - they couldn't believe I would actually curse in a note to the school (I didn't, of course). But then they laughed aloud when they actually read it. Nice to know they have a good sense of humor ...


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Going back to work. Housewife thing didn't work out.

I am going back to work again. After that last project, I took some time off. The kids really needed me. When I watch Julian swim, he is so happy. So I did it. I stayed home. At this point, though, I can't do it anymore because it is too hard and I am very unhappy. I am ending the SAHM thing. My attitude did not go unnoticed, btw. Julian said "And one thing... Housewives do not say 'F*#%@!'" And then David said "You are like a housewife who doesn't cook, clean or watch the kids." Well, okay yes. Those things are true. But I hired people to help out when I was working. They are counting on the money and they need to feed their kids too. For the record, I also don't do gardening or laundry. And so, here we are. I am going back to work. Thank G-d.

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About taking time off "work"

I settled three cases last month so I don't have much work now. I thought maybe I should spend some time, full time, with the kids. You know, really concentrate on them. They missed me after the 70 hour weeks I was putting in with that last project.

So, it's been three weeks (so far). I thought I was doing

okay. Sure, I freaked out a little sometimes. There was the time I dropped Isaac off at camp without shoes and told him he was just going to have to deal with it. And there was that day of school, of course, when I forgot to pick up one boy at 12:20 and then the other at 2:05 (I know. Both of them? That was embarrassing). Oh, yeah and then there was that grocery store incident. I nearly forgot about the grocery store incident. And maybe this week I called David three, four, sometimes five times a day at work telling him I couldn't take it anymore. But seriously, I didn't think it was that bad. Then last night I told David that I think I should go back to work and he said "After the way you were yesterday and the day before and the day before that, I would PAY someone to employ you."

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The green dot of shame: working mommy chronicles

I am traumatized by the green dot. At my kids' school, if a child is late, he can't go straight to class. He has to go to the office and put a little green dot sticker on the front of his shirt. The dot stays there all day. My kids understand and they are totally accustomed to the dot. Of course. They just march into the office when we get there at 9:15, affix the green dot and proceed to class.

The problem is that when it's me who has to take the kids to school, they are late more than half the time (and by more than half the time, I mean that it's extremely unlikely they will be on time). Mornings around here are insane. I dress the kids, feed and water them, make sure they are clothed, check spelling homework, make lunch, adjust Kulani's braids, find shoes--not just one, mind you, I have to find two shoes for each kid. I also have to get dressed myself, shower, put on make up, and wipe tiny hand prints off the hem of my skirt. Oh, and btw, I am doing all this while my 2-year-old is tearing the house apart. In short, I rely on 20 things going perfectly right in the morning to get the kids to school on time. If any one of these things does not go as planned, we are ... late.

I see the green dot on my kids’ shirts when I pick them up from school. I see the green dot when I drop off the lunchboxes I forget to pack. And I see the dot in half the pictures of the yearbook the teacher sends home. It's a bright green dot. You can't miss it.

So a couple of months ago I figured out the dot was supposed to help the children understand the importance of not being tardy. Now I think of it as 'the green dot of shame'. I hate the green dot. It has gotten to the point where I will do anything to avoid the green dot. I rush around like a crazy woman in the morning thinking about nothing but how I am going to avoid the dot. A couple of weeks ago Julian said "You forgot to feed us breakfast!" I threw a box of Cheese-Itz at him and told him to get his shoes on (actually that was not my finest hour). But I can't bear to see my kids in those dots. I know they have been wearing them all day and I know everybody saw them. But most of all, I know the green dots are not my kids' fault. They are mine.

So yesterday was the last day of school and I am slowly recovering from the trauma and emotional distress of the green dot. Next year is going to be worse. I will have three kids in three different schools in three different cities. I do not know how I am going to pull this off but I have all summer to come up with a plan.

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